A Very Mandi-licious Thanksgiving

I'm a few days late and several pounds heavier, I'm sure, but Happy Thanksgiving!

I spent my first Thanksgiving away from home with my grandmother and great aunt, which was such a nice treat. They were able to fly in to visit from New York for a few days and we have been ripping and running ever since they landed. I unfortunately have no pictures to post because I was enjoying myself too much to take any but maybe they will be nice enough to share a few with me later.

We started our Thanksgiving with a tour of the Grand Mosque, naturally, and then had a traditional Arabic meal for dinner.  Meals at traditional Arabic restaurants are served while you are seated on the floor and consist of really flavorful rice and either chicken or lamb. It wasn't the same as turkey and mashed potatoes with gravy, but it definitely hit the spot, so if you're ever in Abu Dhabi you have to go to Najd Palace to eat for sure!

On Friday, I had to do another border run to Oman, so grandma and Aunt Yvonne got to experience that with me. It wasn't really that exciting but now they can at least say they got to visit two countries in one trip. I also took them to see Jebel Hafeet because how could I not? It's not every day you get to see a huge mountain in the middle of the desert, and then to have lunch on the top of it makes it even better.

And finally, we spent today haggling and making new friends at the gold souk here in Abu Dhabi. From the outside the gold souk looks like some place you definitely would not want to go inside. It just looks kind of dirty and crowded and smelly, but we soldiered on and went inside. Once you get inside it's really a whole new world, it's air conditioned, clean, and there are rows and rows of shiny, sparkly jewelry stores. I've never seen so many diamonds in my life. I have my eyes set on a pair of beautiful diamond earrings, but that's neither here nor there :) We wound up spending the most time and money at the gift shop of two guys from Kashmir. Those Kashmiri are some charismatic people! They also make some of the most beautiful crafts I've ever seen. My grandma bought a handmade cashmere duvet cover set and a bunch of cashmere scarves and other gifts for family back home.

I'm sad to say that my time with grandma and aunty is coming to an end, they're heading home this evening. They were here just long enough to really mess up their sleeping patterns. It's hard to believe it will be December in just a few days, but December means I will be home very soon. Only three weeks and counting!

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

It's my 3 month Abu Dhabi anniversary!!!

You Can't Always Get What You Want

But if you try sometimes, You just might find you get what you need...

That song has been stuck in my head. What a lesson to learn. I feel like I've been learning the same lessons over again lately, I guess I missed something before.
I guess this one would be the lesson of...humility?

After 51 long school days of doing everything and nothing at the same time, I am finally getting my own classroom. I have been the art teacher, the p.e. teacher, and every grade level from pre-school to grade 4. I didn't hate it, I was still getting paid a pretty penny after all, and I got to try new things and meet lots of cool kids, but I didn't love it either. 

So you would think that I would jump at the offer to take on my own class. Well, my boss didn't exactly present it in the best way so I got really upset. Sometimes speaking to my boss makes me wanna punch through walls like The Incredible Hulk. She's the reason why I sometimes need to listen to Kanye at work, but I digress.

Back to the title of my post though, I did not want kindergarten. Remember how I feel about three and four year olds? I'd much rather spend my days with well seasoned six or seven year olds any day, and so I pouted, my mind raced, and I nearly cried, but crying is a weak trait and something I just don't do without good reason. But as I was complaining to my friend about my predicament, another friend came in with the exact opposite predicament and things became so clear for me. My tune changed. As my future was becoming clearer, hers was becoming more uncertain, and I had to stop my complaining and be thankful. There are worse things than being a kindergarten teacher. 

Although I'm starting out in the middle of the year, it'll be with kids that I already know and like for the most part. I'm joining a good team of ladies and I'll get to decorate my new room the way I want and its already my favorite color, yellow. But best of all, I get to pick my class next year :) So maybe this is what I need, an easing back into the rigors of lesson planning, and teaching, and the donning of the many hats that teachers wear daily.

And just as a little ray of sunshine from God just for me, I had the loveliest conversation with a little kindergarten boy yesterday. I told him that he could go pick what he wanted to do for his free choice time and he looked at me with the most serious look on his face and asked "Miss D, is it okay if I just play with my imagination?"  Why, yes little boy, it absolutely is, I can't think of anything better! I think I'll like kindergarten just fine.

New word alert

Obfuscation: the hiding of intended meaning in communication, making communication confusing, willfully ambiguous, and harder to interpret.

where I learned it: in a John Green book. Not having a tv means I read a lot

Punched in the crotch, the new hello?

I do not like 3 and 4 year olds.

I shouldn't say that, there are plenty of 3 and 4 year olds that I'm quite fond of and would willingly spend time with. I am not fond of some 3 and 4 year olds. There, that's better.

Working with children gives me a kind of joy and satisfaction that I never had in other jobs. Kids are funny, man. And they're interesting, and they ask good questions that make you think, although often not on purpose. Most of the time kids will undoubtedly think you are the coolest thing since sliced bread just because, and their smile can often make you smile. Way back when I hated my old school and I hated even walking into the building, it was the kids that made me stick it out and keep on trucking every day. Those were cool kids and I miss them.

But some kids just make you go hmmm. They have runny noses and other leaky body parts, they don't respect your personal space, and they punch you in the crotch not once but twice, all with a smile on their faces. The same child excitedly punched me in the crotch today and didn't say a word afterward. Is this the new hello? I'm so confused. Another child was groping and manhandling his friend, and when I told him that we don't touch others his simple reply was, "Yes we do, my mom said we do." He said it with such conviction that I really had to question myself, like wait, maybe we do? I don't like it when kids make me feel confused, that is not supposed to happen.

My mom would say that this is just preparing me for the time that I have my own children, and I would agree that it is, but I certainly hope my own children don't punch me in the crotch.

Throwback Thursday

My tres hermanos <3 Gosh I miss them!

This is from our family reunion this past July (hence the lovely green shirts). My middle brother just sent me this video with a message that said he watches it at least once a week, which made me smile. In case you're wondering, they had just experienced the awesome party in your mouth and gift straight from Sweet Baby Jesus himself that is Chick Fil A, for the first time.

Today...

lemme tell you about today...on second thought, let me not. 

If yesterday had me in a funk then today has knocked me out. Why does it seem like Wednesday takes more out of you than Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday ever could? If I were to compare my day to a boxing match it would be the end of the 12th round and I'd be up against the ropes, probably reconsidering my thoughts and choices in life thus far. I put up a good fight but there's just no way I'm gonna come out of this victorious. It is 5pm and all I really wanna do is go to bed. How sad lol

On another somewhat weirder note, I recently realized that I'm starting to find unibrows oddly attractive now, especially if they're worn with a shimagh. Must be a symptom of living in the Middle East. Or extreme exhaustion.

Abu Dhabi: The Best of Both Worlds?

Growing up in a small town you kind of always grow up in awe of the big city and wanting to escape to it.  Small town life is just boring compared to the bright lights and fast pace of big cities. There's just more to do, more to see, more to know in big cities.

I had the pleasure of growing up in a small town but going to college in Philadelphia. Go Owls! Go Hawks! I fell in love with Philly during the six years that I lived there. Between the cheesesteaks and pretzels, and the great shopping and entertainment, and the many cultural events, there was never a dull moment living there. It really is an awesome city! But after a while, or I guess with age, you begin to appreciate the things that a small town has to offer. You start to realize that quiet can be a good thing and that your time could be better spent than sitting in traffic, and you start to despise the big city.

Living in Abu Dhabi has been the happy medium for me so far. I get the feel of the big city with the 5+ malls that are within a ten minute drive from me and the easy access to restaurants, entertainment, and grocery stores, but there's also the small town feel within my little Reem Island community. We have a grocery store and several restaurants and banks literally right below us but the community itself is very family oriented and has a nice relaxed vibe to it. I still get some traffic but most days it doesn't take me more than 25 minutes to get to work.

So this small town girl may just have been converted to a big city girl :)

I am in a funk

I've been feeling like Oscar the Grouch lately. I have surpassed my normally bitchy levels nearly every day this week. I don't know what's wrong with me. The office knowitall is really tap dancing on my nerves and it is really all I can do not to tell her about herself... 
she just got up and left. maybe my face said it for me...

The liquor laws in this country are really limiting my happiness. Not saying liquor makes me happy, but a glass of wine every now and then sure does make me happier. I can't wait to get my emirates ID so I can buy liquor and be merry :)

I learned a new word today

I like words. I guess I'm a word nerd. I like big words and I cannot lie :) Whoops! I guess I got off on a tangent there, but I really do like words. The last word I learned was perspicacity, which basically means having clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight. I hope to get to use it in conversation soon.

The word new word, though, is ablution. Ablution is basically the ritual of washing your body as part of a religious observance. My friend Lisa and I went on a tour of the Grand Mosque here over the weekend. When we arrived we saw the most beautiful white building surrounded by several small pools of water and beautiful landscaping. It really is striking to see this huge white building made even brighter by the bright sun of the Abu Dhabi desert.

Before you can go in you have to be dressed appropriately. This means black abayas for women and white kandooras for the men, which they are nice enough to let you borrow.

All ready to go!

After handing over your ID and getting your abaya you're ready to go into the mosque. The building is even more beautiful inside than it is outside. As we walked toward the entrance we took a bunch of selfies (how could you not?) and noticed that there were restrooms for men and women along with a place for ablution.  As I took the escalator down to the bathrooms I admired the beautiful (there's got to be a more fitting word than beautiful but right now I'm at a loss) tile-work on the walls and floor. It was all on a white background but there were intricate flowers and designs all through it.

Anyway, on the way to the bathrooms there was a large round room with small stools sitting in front of sinks. I figured that they were for washing your feet so I sat down to give it a try. Later, when I got home I googled ablution and learned that there is actually a right and a wrong way to do it. I won't get into the specifics here but if you're interested in finding out for yourself, google is only a click away. The cliff's notes version is that you wash your hands, face, neck and head, and finally your feet. All of this is done before entering the mosque or touching or handling the Quran.

Walking into the mosque is quite an experience. It's hard to explain the beauty there. It is honestly breathtaking! But before you can go into the mosque you have to take your shoes off and leave them on shelves outside. There are separate entrances for men and women but a large main area that anyone can go into. I don't know what year the mosque was built but there are chandeliers all throughout and such intricate gold designs on the walls and ceilings. 

I get distracted at my own church looking at all the stained glass windows and paintings on the ceilings, I don't know how anyone can focus on praying in such a beautiful mosque. Perhaps that's how I forgot to say a quick little prayer while I was there :)

I conquered Jebel Hafeet!

And by conquered I mean enjoyed a nice ride in an air conditioned car to the near top of the mountain where I stayed in a wonderful hotel room, ate way too many cheeseburgers, and spent a lazy afternoon by the pool :)

My friends Tracy and Josh actually rode their bikes up the mountain, an amazing feat for anyone, but I just am not about that life. I did, however, enjoy a nice massage this morning that was sorely needed. The hotel was really great and they had a nice pool area with several water slides and a swim up bar, which I definitely took advantage of. I finally got my margarita!!! And then I tried all three water slides and relaxed by the pool until it was time to head home. I managed to take this picture from the observation deck before I checked out.

Note to self:

Do not listen to Kanye at work. You'll be feeling yourself extra hard like...

White is right?

I'm a proud, black woman! I'm a proud, black woman...  I'm a proud, black woman?

These are thoughts that I have on an almost daily basis here. It's amazing how living in a foreign country can effect your self image and ideas of beauty. I haven't felt this conflicted about my looks since middle school, where I often felt self-conscious and at times awkward.  As an adult, I think I have a healthy amount of self-esteem, I'm no super model but I'm not a troll either lol! At home, I never really thought about my looks. No, that's a lie, I should say I never really had any doubts about my looks. There may have been times that I didn't feel so hot, every woman does, but I never felt like I missed out on anything or was overlooked because of my looks. To me, if someone didn't appreciate me or my looks, it was their loss, plain and simple.

Moving here to the Middle East I thought I'd be surrounded, and appreciated, by other beautiful brown people. That hasn't proven to be my experience so far. I don't think the people here really embrace their brown-ness. It seems like in their eyes 'white is right'. Fairer skinned people are seen as better or more deserving of respect, in my opinion, at least that is what I've observed here. Most of the workers (think cleaners, security guards, lifeguards, etc) here are darker skinned people and they really aren't treated all that well. Most of the workers that I've interacted with here have been polite and respectful, but a lot of people are not as respectful as they could be in return. I'm not sure if they're treated that way because they have dark skin or because they are in service positions but I don't think that either is right.

Going to the beauty salon, pharmacy, or even in the souks, there are products and treatments offering to help people/women become lighter, whiter even. I was so surprised walking through the souks, to see whitening creams being offered right along side spices and incense, but in store after store, it was the same.

"Stay young, stay white!"

So, if everyone around you fails to see the beauty in your (or their) brown skin, how do you maintain a positive self image? As an adult, I struggle at times, but I often wonder, since I work in a school, how it effects children. Just recently, I was working in a new classroom covering for another teacher, and a little girl ran up to me and said (while laughing), "You're sooo black!". I was floored. First, because this kid had just met me yet she felt comfortable enough to call me black to my face, and second, because I thought I was brown, being not only 'black' but 'so black' was news to me, and third, because this child wasn't white, she was a local kid. What did she want me to do with this information? Did she mean it in a good way, the same way you might say 'you're so smart!'? What I wondered most though, was what would have happened if she had said that to another child? 

Maintaining a positive self image when you look and feel different from everyone else around you can be difficult. I personally enjoy not being like everyone else. I love the fact that my skin is the color of "the perfect coffee with cream and sugar" as my mom would say, and that almost every color looks good against it. I love that my hair is big, and curly, and kinky, and I can wear it in a big afro puff or in cornrows if I want. I love that I don't look like every other girl walking down the street 'cuz that would be boring. But when I'm out and about in the city I often notice people looking at me, and I can't always tell if they're looks of interested curiosity or something else. It's an odd feeling that I'm not used to, but I guess at some point I'll either get used to it or stop noticing.

Personal space, need it, want it, gotta have it!

Perhaps we Americans are mean. Or perhaps we've just been spoiled with excessive amounts of space and other things that most people aren't used to. We've got big cars, big houses, and other things that help us stake our claim and let others know, "hey, this is mine!" but what have we got to let people know to respect our personal space?

Ever since I started teaching, one of the first lessons I've taught my students is about personal space. It's right up there with The Golden Rule for me.  We've all got our own invisible bubble of personal space that is as big as our arms can reach, and no one should enter it without your permission.  It's a pretty simple concept to grasp, even for kindergarteners.

I will never forget, one day in my first year of teaching, I was working with a group and I noticed a little boy was writing his letters super far apart. I mean there were these huge gaps between his letters and the way that they were spaced just made his words not make any sense. So I asked him why he was making his letters so far apart and his simple response was that he was giving his letters personal space, like I had told him. Bless his heart!

Well, other cultures just don't see it the same way.  My personal space bubble has been invaded more times than I wish. I guess the bubble is a little more lax here and I just wasn't prepared for it.  Standing in line at the bank, waiting in line at the grocery store, shopping at the mall, people will stand oddly close to you.  At first I thought they were being rude and trying to take over my space but that's not it.  This past weekend I was at the mall and a man (he was a worker for the mall) kept following me around. At first I didn't pay any attention to it because, he worked at the mall, he was supposed to be there, but when I noticed that he was standing so close to me he was actually touching me, it made me feel really uncomfortable.  What does one do in that situation?

Perspective is everything

So I was at work the other day in my "office", which is really just a cramped space that I share with 10 other people, and I happened to be alone with one of the arabic teachers. She's a nice enough lady but I had never had the occasion to talk to her before because we're always either coming or going. She started asking me about where I live and my family and she couldn't believe that I came all the way here, to Abu Dhabi, alone. I told her that to me it wasn't really that big of a deal, I was used to be alone, I actually quite like it. I moved to Virginia by myself after a brief phone interview and less than 36 hour visit there, and I stayed for six years.  Picking up and moving halfway across the country or world just isn't a big deal to me.  For most people this would strike fear but for me...nothing. What's the worst that could happen?  I'm not sure if this is a good characteristic or bad characteristic to have, certainly one should have fear or at least trepidation about such large, life-changing moves.

Anyway, after I explained all that to her, she explained to me that "it's not like that with Arab women".  They go from living at home with their parents to living at home with their husbands.  They literally are never alone.  She couldn't understand how I functioned without family nearby to help.  I can understand how having that kind of...support?...can be comforting, you never have to worry about figuring things out or taking care of things on your own.  But at the same time, you never have to (or get to) figure things out on your own.  How do you figure yourself out if you never have those challenges?  I moved out of the house at 18 and have made the requisite silly mistakes of my 20s (I really hope I'm done with silly mistakes but one can never know I guess) that have made me who I am today.  I wouldn't want to go into a relationship with anyone and not have had the time to make and learn from those mistakes, but it seems like there's no room for that in Arab or muslim culture.  I'm not saying either is right or wrong, I just now have a new understanding of the culture which I hope to learn more about.