After teaching for seven years I have to say I have heard and seen some funny things from kids. At some point I'll write a book about my experiences. It will be a best seller and I'll become rich, quit teaching, and move to a remote island. At least that's how I have it planned in my head.
Anywho, since it has been a while since I've posted I figured I would do a post about some of the funny anecdotes (the ones I can remember at least) that have made me smile over the years. So here goes...
As I'm sitting at my desk doing attendance, I look over and notice a little girl with very red lips and something on her mouth. She sees me looking at her and freezes like a deer in headlights, so I go over to her to find out what exactly she's done to herself. She had fashioned herself two fangs out of paper that she then colored red with my Mr. Sketch scented markers and attempted to glue to her lips. All I could do was laugh.
After a particularly rough day with my class I sat them down to discuss behavior and remind them of our rules. Half the class was paying attention to me and looked pretty remorseful, of course those were the ones who didn't need the talking to, and the others were ignoring me and continuing with their shenanigans. I was really frustrated when a sweet little boy raised his hand and said, "Miss D, I think these children are gonna go to hell."
On another rough day, my class came inside from recess and some of the boys were very upset. One boy was near tears. When I could finally get him to tell me what was wrong, through tears he said "They eated my brains!" My class likes to play zombies at recess.
It was a student's first day riding the bus home from school. She was really excited to be taking the bus like a big girl and her mom assured me she knew which bus to take home because she had ridden it to school. We head out to the busses and I say alright, which bus do you ride? Her reply? The yellow one.
At my new school, all students have to take swimming, which means that teachers have to help students change into their swimming clothes in kindergarten. There is nothing I dislike more than having to help the boys change for swimming. On our first day of swimming of course I had to help the boys and it was indeed madness. After the boys are all changed and lined up I find a pair of underwear on the floor and ask who they belong to. No one would claim them so someone went home with no underwear on that day.
During class one day, one of my mischievous little boys walks over to one of my little girls and grabs her face and plants a big kiss on her mouth. Without missing a beat, she looks at him and says "That was disgusting, you're not even my type!"
In a writing lesson, I was asking the kids what makes a good friend. I wrote down their answers on chart paper and then sent them off on their own to do their own writing. My favorite response was "a good friend dance like Michael Jackson." Indeed they do buddy, indeed they do :)
